Kathryn called me at 9:47pm on a Tuesday.

She had been refreshing her email since seven. Her boss was traveling, time zones off, and she was waiting on a response to something she had sent earlier that afternoon. Could have waited until morning. She knew that. Refreshed it anyway.

Kathryn is three years into a VP role at a company most people would recognize. She got promoted because she earned it. The board approved her. Her boss is happy with her. By every objective measure she is in the seat.

And she is still operating as if she has to earn it again every Tuesday.

She over-prepares for meetings where her peers walk in with a coffee and a notebook. She rehearses her points before she speaks. She stays late on the deck her peer would have sent out at 80%. She refreshes her email at 9:47pm in case her boss responds to something she could have answered in the morning.

She thinks she is being thorough.

I told her on that call, "Kathryn. You are still auditioning. You got the role three years ago. Nobody is asking you to audition. Except you."

There was a long pause.

Then she said, "Shit."

Yeah. Shit.

Here is what I see. The people in the room with Kathryn stopped auditioning a long time ago. They stopped because at some point they decided the seat was theirs. Not because someone confirmed it. Because they stopped waiting to be confirmed.

Kathryn has not done that yet.

The over-preparation reads fine from the outside. People probably tell her she is impressive. The cost is what is happening inside her. She is calibrating to a standard she set when she was a senior manager, and the standard for the seat she is in now is different.

It is not about being the most prepared person in the room. It is about being the leader who can hold the room.

The most prepared person and the leader who holds the room are not the same person.

The most prepared person is anxious. The leader who holds the room has decided.

Kathryn is one decision away from being the second one.

She is presenting to the board on Thursday.

I will let you know what happens.

/Ulrika