Quick update on Pilates.

I have now done five classes. Yesterday was the fifth. I can barely walk today. My butt muscles are so sore that going down the stairs in the ranch house this morning was a project. The Cowboy asked if I needed help. I said no. I did not need help. I needed a different body.

Here is the schedule I have lined up for the week. Wednesday, private class. Thursday, 6:30am class. Saturday, 8am class.

A logical person, in my current condition, would cancel at least one of those. Probably two. Definitely Saturday. My body is asking me to.

I am not going to cancel any of them.

Because, and I am laughing as I type this, I do not want my Pilates instructor to be disappointed in me.

I am 54 years old. I have run organizations of 11,000 people. I once told a sitting mayor he was wrong in front of a council chamber full of journalists. I have negotiated record settlements with corporate lawyers who underestimated me. I am not a woman who is easily intimidated.

But apparently I cannot cancel a Pilates class because a 25-year-old instructor named Hannah might think less of me.

Äh men, Ulrika.

I thought about that all morning, because I see this exact pattern in my clients every single week.

She does not want to give the team member hard feedback. She tells me she is being supportive. She tells me she is giving him space to grow. She tells me she is choosing the long game.

What she is actually doing is avoiding the moment where she has to say a true thing that might disappoint someone.

She does not want to push back on her boss's idea in the meeting. She tells me she is reading the room. She tells me she is respecting the hierarchy.

What she is actually doing is making sure her boss does not feel challenged by her.

Every single one of these leaders would tell you she is being supportive. Strategic. Thoughtful. Patient.

She is also limping around her own life because she cannot stand the thought of someone being disappointed in her.

I know this. I coach leaders out of this. I have done this work for two decades.

And I am still going to Pilates on Thursday at 6:30am because Hannah might frown if I cancel.

Nobody stops caring what people think. That person does not exist. If they did, you would not want to be in a room with them.

The work is to notice, in the specific moment, when being supportive is actually being unable to disappoint someone. And to do the harder, truer thing anyway.

For me, this week, the harder truer thing is to text Hannah and cancel Thursday.

I will let you know if I actually do it.

/Ulrika